try to find me n miss him

this is me...i try to find whos me n my identity its hard but i try hard to .its been i years already him dont  contact me at all i had this situation its killing me now...i dont know what to do what im gonna suppost to do and i have to do...some time i think i dont want to live anymore cause its hurt n lonely im still study n dont have much strength to do what i want to do cause my family not to rich my dad just a fisherman so thats why i need guy to be my side to make me more strong to being through all of this...i really need my mr!!!i need you why you leave me n let me by self to go through all this im not strong without you im nothing....if you had read my blog please understand me n come back to me i know its not easy to you but cant you remember all the things we been through its so beautiful n amazing you open my eyes show me the things that i never see it!!!you make me fly when i fall down you raise me up when i cant stand anymore you make me laugh when my tears ofrom my eyes comes out you hold my hand when no ones be with me when no ones trust me you the ones trust me...you are everything to me.....how cant i face the truth when everything i do is related n remind me to you without i want it!!!i think i want be like this i really dont want it!!!i dont want be like if i can do i want to delete n erase everything about you everything everything!!!iwant my mind n my memory empty without you!!!i dont want remember anything about you!!!what i do now is try be strong strong so so strong n live without you but i miss you much!!!